There are definitely challenges to parenthood on many different levels. It is very hard on the relationship between the parents. It can cause a disconnect that if not actively addressed can be hard to repair.
Starting in pregnancy, the relationship changes. Some women have a very high libido during their pregnancy and the sex life skyrockets. Other women have absolutely zero interest in sex starting from the early stages of their pregnancy.
After childbirth, most women go through a period of very reduced libido. The range in this is all over the map. Everyone is different.
There are so many factors that affect libido. Sleep deprivation alone can reduce a sex drive to zero.
Some women have physical pain during and after sex so they are not interested. It is definitely human nature that if it hurts, we don’t want to do it.
Of course another factor to all of this is multiple children in the family. A couple has to actually feel a disconnect and then regain a connection many times over.
It has been said that the sex life is the barometer of the health of the partnership relationship. That doesn’t mean it is about frequency, instead it is about the intimate connection.
So what should parents do? Just an awareness of this is half the battle. Physical touch is so important in a relationship and that doesn’t just mean sex. Hold hands, kiss hello and goodbye, snuggle at night, make time for the relationship and remember parents model to their children what a relationship is all about. Teach your children it’s about the connection, support and love.
Go on dates with your partner and reflect upon what it was like when you first met. Rebuild your relationship with a renewed understanding of the challenges of parenting to the partnership relationship. Make it happen. Prioritize.
Don’t be afraid to seek outside help if you feel you cannot do it without support.
image from: http://www.elizabel.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/nelson-pic2.jpg