In a blink of an eye, parents can find themselves in a situation that they are completely unprepared for and do not know how to handle.
It is at those times, that parents sometimes, inadvertently put their child in a position to make adult decisions. It is so easy to lose sight of our child’s developmental age and stage as they grow and develop.
Sometimes children that look or act more mature than their chronological age take on the persona of an adult.
Sometimes a life situation, for example, a divorce, a move, an emotional loss etc cause us to lose sight of appropriate boundaries in our life.
In my work with families, this is a very common situation and one that causes many secondary problems.
I have seen children as young as three years old making decisions that give the child power that they do not want or know how to handle. It leads to other issues and most importantly, it is not good for the child.
I have had parents asking their children to make adult decisions that led to them getting very angry. Once a teen in a family I was working with jumped up and said “I don’t know, you are the adult, you make the decision.” Talk about out of the mouth of babes.
Children need to be children. It is not in the best interest of children to be making adult decisions.
If you think about it and realize you might be putting your child in that situation without meaning to, take the time to re-evaluate your behavior. All parents make mistakes as they parent. The important thing is to learn from those mistakes and make the necessary adjustments.
Allowing your child to be a child creates the foundation for them to grow into an emotionally healthy adult.
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