There are so many factors that come into play that create who we are.
Innate temperament, environment, parenting and so many other influences come together uniquely in every person.
Look at behavior for example. Some children tantrum. Some children do not tantrum. Some children are intense and persistent. Some children are easy going and go with the flow. Just as adults, all children respond differently.
For a parent that has a child that does not respond typically, it can be so tough to hear the judgments and criticisms of the outside world.
“Just do this…” Is a common statement that many parents will hear. It is so hard to not react defensively.
If a parent only has a relatively easy going child, they truly cannot understand the journey of someone else who has a child responds differently.
Make a point to never judge. You are teaching tolerance when you engage in respectful behavior that allows for uniqueness. Modeling is the most important teacher.
If you are a parent that has to deal with comments such as these, come up with a blanket statement that is effective to shut down that conversation every time.
Something like, “I appreciate the input but I am very comfortable with my parenting decisions. Thank you!”
Do not be a parent that believes that their journey is identical to anyone else’s. Every one of us has a completely different experience. There can be some overlap but it is never exactly the same.
Go out of your way to support a parent that might have a child that is difficult. It can be a lonely journey when you are feeling judged and criticized. Reach out instead of push away. Be tolerant.
Parenting can bring us together in ways that are so deep and fulfilling. On the flip side though, parenting can sometimes make us feel disconnected and alone in a way that we have never felt before.
Choose tolerance, understanding and acceptance of differences. When judgments are thrown away, connections are created.
image from: http://www.betterworld4all.org/SiteAssets/benefits-tolerance/tolerance%201.jpg