The Balance Of Control

Control Key on Computer KeyboardWhen children are born, parents have 100% control over every aspect of their child’s life.

That sense of responsibility can be overwhelming for many parents. Sometimes, as the child grows and develops the parent forgets that a balance of that control needs to be created.

The way for children to learn to be responsible, capable adults is to have more and more “control” of their own lives as they get older.

Understanding your own child though and their developmental age and stage versus their chronological age is key. You have to feel good as a parent that your child is ready to take on each new developmental task, skill or responsibility.

At very young ages though, it is appropriate for children to rise to new challenges. Children often amaze parents by what they can do.

There is a fine line between caretaking and controlling sometimes.

If a parent always steps back and take a moment to reflect on what they want to teach in the big picture of life, they will be able to have a more balanced perspective.

Even in the case of learning to listen to our bodies, if a child only eats what is dictated to them by the clock and not by the natural cues of their body, it will be harder to learn to listen to those cues.

If one food is strictly prohibited, it is usually the food that the child will want the most. Balance is the key. I have seen many kids want to eat sweets obsessively because they have never had it. I get it. We don’t want our kids to eat junk and be unhealthy, I just offer a global perspective.

Understanding the boundaries and appropriate usage of parental control is so key to the development of a strong foundation for the parent child relationship.

Reflect on how much control you want/need in every relationship in your life. The partnership relationship usually has some form of this issue in the fabric of the relationship. Is it something that you might need to tweak in some way, whether with your child, your partner or anyone?

Think about the issue of control and you will lay a brick in creating strong, solid relationships throughout your life.

image from: http://msvanitystreet.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/control.jpg

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